The cat I share my house with is a fat, furry pig, and I have been telling him so.
Today, in an attempt to please him, I brought home a new cat food, and put it down for his dining pleasure. The fuzzy little oinker proceeded to scarf up nearly the whole dish full in about two gulps.
This in itself would have been tolerable. But, then his porky little constitution suddenly realized that his eyes were bigger than his belly, and he nonchalantly waddled over to the rug and promptly barfed up the whole meal.
I discovered this little indiscretion just in time to avoid having the whole slimy wad squishing up between my toes. I complained loudly to him about his disgusting lack of domestication. This fell entirely upon the ears of a totally unrepentant little beast. And, just to show me that he didn't give a hoot about my concern for the rug (let alone my toes), he went over to his treat dish and gazed alternately into the empty bowl and then at me, and then back. Completely oblivious to my rantings.
Of course he knows that it is only a matter of time until I cave in and puts some of his favorite treats into the bowl. Even though he has left the mess for me to clean up.
The big turd has my number.
Blake,
ReplyDeleteYour comments on the diasters that have befollowng the US the recent and not so recent past appear very cogent to your present condition. Apparently, you house mate had created large toxic spill of your own. Souds like the Chief Executive, thought to be you, has not taken proper imediate steps to correct this ecological disaster. Surely you must have some kind of plan in place for such occurances. Apprently, you hnds off approch is not working. Surely, a more restrictive diet and greater regulation is necessary to avoid similar spill. Unfornately you can't blame it on the last administration. Diet baby Diet.
The poor turd wasn't accustomed to the new food and gave it back, then wanted his treats to fill up on (much like myself when watching late night telly). I suggest mixing the new stuff with the old stuff and gradually increasing the new stuff so the furry porker doesn't leave more toxic gunk for your toes. ;)
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